Well, it's all going swimmingly well, isn't it!
Fish, anyone? No, its rotting.
Shellfish your thing? Well, they've been landed in Denmark because they cant move them fast enough here.
Pigs for sale - no - you haven't got the right paperwork.
Understand Rules of Origin? No, back to the end of the line and learn it.
Still stuck in Kent without your Kermit? Best go back to your warehouse and apply!
Trading EU stocks in London? No you're not - forbidden.
Fancy a salad? Nope - cant get them here through customs.
Exports, anyone? No - they're held up in customs.
No barriers to trade? No - barriers and extra charges everywhere.
Trade deals - yes - with Greenland for one Cod a year and some ice for the bbq...
Massive trade deal with Trump? No trade deal for some time with Biden.
Getting on well with the neighbours? No - they're trying to nick all our vaccines whilst Boris insults their politicians
Trying to set up a G10 to advance democratic market economies? No - Japan is against it, as are others.
Work in the Service industry? Don't worry - your work isn't covered by any of the arrangements, so 80% of UK GDP cant be exported without serious hassle.
More UK businesses being set up? Yes - in EU to avoid extra taxes and customs "formalities"
Plenty of nurses? No - 35,000 short.
Happy UK? No, Scotland and N. Ireland in favour of quitting Union, Wales, after never having blinked on the issue for many many years id becoming more in favour of leaving
Exporting still? No - 65% of lorries return to EU empty - balance of payments heading south of South.
Singapore-on-Thames? No - more like Ruritania-on-beta blockers
Looking good? No - like a bunch of scruffy, rank amateurs, but at least there's no tax on tampons anymore thanks to being able to make our own laws...
And its only January...